What My Mother Never Told Me

Menopause & the Shifts No One Warned Me About

When I was younger, conversations about womanhood were always framed around beginnings—your first period, first love, first child. But my mother never told me about the shifting that happens later, about menopause and all the unseen ways it can upend a life.

Yes, we’ve all heard about hot flashes and night sweats, the physical symptoms people joke about. But no one prepared me for the deeper changes—the fatigue that seeps into your bones, the way your body can suddenly feel unfamiliar, or how your emotions can swing between raw vulnerability and simmering anger. These shifts don’t just affect you; they ripple outward, touching your children, your friendships, and most strikingly, your marriage or partnership.

In my own marriage, I found myself withdrawing at times, snapping at small things, or feeling distant in moments that used to be intimate. That closeness we once had needed new effort, new kinds of patience, and often, a vocabulary I didn’t even know I lacked. Menopause can make you feel invisible and misunderstood—even in the arms of the person who’s loved you the longest.

Here’s the truth I wish I had known earlier: menopause is not just a medical condition, it’s a profound life transition. And the more you understand about what is happening in your body and mind, the more empowered you become. Education turns confusion into clarity, and clarity makes space for compassion—for yourself and for those living through this with you.

What my mother never told me is that silence makes it harder. Talking about it—to your partner, to friends, or to someone who truly listens—can lift some of the heaviest weight.

That’s where places like Hummingbird Haven come in. It’s a space designed for real conversation, for being heard without judgment, and for finding guidance through the storm of change. You don’t have to navigate this chapter alone.

In our next post in the “What My Mother Never Told Me” series, we’ll talk about how menopause reshapes self-image and identity—how it can feel like losing the woman you were, and yet, discovering seeds of the woman you’re becoming.